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landscape by rulez-dmitriy landscape :iconrulez-dmitriy:rulez-dmitriy 242 9
Literature
MERB #38: Eric Cartman Vs. Porky Minch
VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5d9xtMdobk
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!
PORKY MINCH…
…VS…
…ERIC CARTMAN!!!
BEGIN!
Eric Cartman:
Listen up, you worthless sack of protoplasm; here's the deal:
I've utter faith that I'll one-up you, and go platinum for real!
You're an evasive little pussy; I'm a doer, dropping bombs:
I'll whoop your ass a hundred times worse than that bitch you call your mom!
The Triple-K Grand Wizard's here to stick a thousand truths to y'all;
Imagining won't be required to make you suck my salty balls!
Just ask Saddam Hussein: my shocking words are verbal PK Thunder!
Come on down to South Park? You're gonna have a bad time, Mother-fucker!
Porky Minch:
Here's an eight-part melody of hate, you cardboard-cutout brat:
Abort your efforts like the spawn of your Satanic Rankin/Bass,
For I ain't cynical in sayi
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L. Ron Hubbard VS HP Lovecraft (DRB S4 Finale) by dragonsblood23 L. Ron Hubbard VS HP Lovecraft (DRB S4 Finale) :icondragonsblood23:dragonsblood23 3 7
Literature
MERB #12: Poison Ivy Vs. Audrey II
VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=n83eM1SnFhw
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES…
…Will not be shown tonight due to the fact that IT'S THE FREAKING APOCALYPSE! GIANT PLANTS ARE RAMPAGING ACROSS THE WORLD! IT'S LIKE THE HAPPENING, BUT LESS ABSURD. OOOOOH, THE HUMANITY AND ALL THE PEOPLE SCREAMING AND–
WAIT! WHO'S THAT? OVER THERE, RIGHT THERE! SOME STRANGE–LOOKING PERSON APPEARS TO BE APPROACHING THE LEADER OF THE PLANTS… WAIT… IS THAT… COULD IT BE… OH MY GOD, IT IS! IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE HAVING A BATTLE AFTER ALL!
LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN…
(Video is fast–rewound back to start)
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!
POISON IVY…
…VS…
…AUDREY II!!!
BEGIN!!!
Poison Ivy:
The beautiful
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Literature
MERB #20: Judge Dredd Vs. Judge Judy
VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=miAg2le47qk
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!
JUDGE DREDD…
…VS…
…JUDGE JUDY!!!
BEGIN!
Judge Dredd:
Dredd to control: I've got a Jimp on Shukoff Block;
Gonna give this dinosaur a major case of Future Shock.
Welcome to the grim darkness of the twenty–second century:
Mega–City One; let me be your directory.
Drokk Wapner and Brown; name's Judge Joe Dredd,
A six–shooter in my hand, and helmet firm on my head.
A chip right off the old genes of the Father of Justice;
If Judge Cal is Caligula, call me Augustus!
I'm mean like Mean Machine on the streets; you're on the boob tube,
Yelling the kind of brats I throw in the Juve Cubes.
Underworked and overpaid, for one day a week;
I'm serving 24/7, sans ten minutes' for sleep.
Judge, jury, execu
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Literature
MERB #22: Siegfried Vs. Arthas
VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU6bX_vy1eE
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!
SIEGFRIED SCHTAUFFEN…
…VS…
…ARTHAS MENETHIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEGIN!
Siegfried Schtauffen, "Innocent Darkside":
Welcome to the stage of history; you haven't what it takes,
For never such an easy victory I'll've had as this flake!
Hearthstone and zone home, or get ready to cry,
'Cause Sieggy won't be needing Roy to battle with the tiger's eye.
Sweet, swift, swingin', slick, swag Schwarzwind swordsman;
Swat a sucker out the ring and halfway to Stormwind!
My raps possess a caliber too hot to Zweihändle;
Your 'craft's like a kobold:
Kobold: You no take candle!
Siegfried: This rhythm is your Requiem; a wipe is impending.
Casting down your dreams and breaking destinies; I'm unrelenting!
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Literature
Moleman's Epic Rap Battles #28: Death Vs. Death
VIDEO HERE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8Pusl0wOqc
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES…
…DEATH…
…VS…
…DEATH!
BEGIN!
• Death: •
Word of warning here: forget about the lofty Cost of Living,
'Cause the price of crossing me's a hundredfold if I'm forgiving!
Whether chilling in my realm or as a mortal each centennial,
The Endless biggest sis's gothic beauty is perennial!
A soul-collector nice as I? Good luck with ever finding one,
Yet here up on the mic, I've all the fury of the Kindly Ones,
When I attack a bony, hackneyed, homely phony reaper
As the one and only ultimate in mortal coil-keepers!
You'll end up like my poor middle brother: straight-vacate your station,
When I see you get a lifetime's worth of shame; humiliation
From the Vertigo my dizzying disses hit you w
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Literature
MERB #26: Captain Price Vs. Commander Shepard
VIDEO HERE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q-I1MYIGpM
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAPTAIN PRICE…
…VS…
…COMMANDER SHEPARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEGIN!
• Captain John Price: •
Know I ain't a liar when I say I'm bound for victory;
Your blood will be the ink that records this truth in history.
I'd break you with the will of but a solitary man,
But nobody fights alone, so blood brother, lend a hand!
• Captain John "Soap" MacTavish: •
It's ravishing MacTavish, here to ravage savagely with rhyming!
Ain't No Rushin' is required; yo, I spit in perfect timing.
Skilled sharpshooting Scot in prime prestige surpassing measuring;
A human Omni-tool, just like Ramirez doing everything!
Price: Zakhaev knows: I've got a real disarming personality.
S
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Literature
MERB #25: Discord Vs. Sheogorath
VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=laPBqLvEFiA
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DISCORD…
…VS…
…SHEOoooww– *static*
Ooh, let me just go ahead, laddy.
Sheogorath:
Uncle Sheo has the skill for sending shivers to these jams,
So take a helpful hint, resume a stony stasis state and scram!
This hodgepodge against the Madgod? The sod is unworthy!
Oughta tear out his intestines; turn the tracts all topsy–turvy.
Sovereign prince, I reign supreme in much the manner of Celestia.
I'll make your head a trophy; let Relmyna use the rest of ya'.
My Wabbajack'll whack a wacko Jabberwocky clown;
Be crossing me, I guarantee you're going down, down, down!
Ya' know I'm on a sweet roll, and your demise is what I'm stipulating;
Stick a fork in you and Split your sides, with
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Literature
MERB #29-C: The Snow Hits the Fan
Part of THIS VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH7hIjE9YcU
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
Meanwhile…
(*LOUD, ECHOING CRASH*)
• Jadis the White Witch: •
I have had it with these soft, show off-ing, sentimental pricks!
Just crawl up onto my Stone Table now; I swear I'll make it quick!
If it's a war with me you want, then that precisely I shall grant:
I'd let you ask my sister 'bout the verbal bombs I drop, but can't!
I'm like Gnorga: make a statue of even a slight snitch,
So get stoked for a fight, bitches; you've woken the White Witch!
Lyrics delightful as the lokum I'll make any sucker crave;
You phonies think yourselves magicians? You're unfit to be my slaves!
I'll turn this place into a Charnel house before this battle's over;
I'm the North's true wicked one: not that Green Kirtle-wearing poser!
Bite into you like a silver apple
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Literature
MERB SPECIAL: Panty and Stocking Vs. PPG Remake
VIDEO HERE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbI5vjFhIRY
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES (SPECIAL EDITION, BITCHES)!!!!
PANTY AND STOCKING…
…VS…
…THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!!!!!
BEGIN!
The Powerpuff Girls:
Buttercup: The city of Townsville ain't big enough to fit the both of us!
Blossom: Head right back to your hellhole turf and find some shitty ghost to bust.
But: These pint-sized kaiju-killers pack a pulverizing punch!
Bubbles: We've got the skill to put you fallen rejects' namesakes in a bunch!
Blossom:
There's no way I can sugar-coat your fast-impending verbal smacking;
When our rhymes release, they'll pull you under like a Craig McKraken!
Plus, that undie gun you're packing doesn't frighten me one tittle;
In contrast to Mayor's snack troubles, you're sin
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Literature
MERB #33: Sting Vs. Big Brother
VIDEO: www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7upo9WSZBk
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STING…
…VS…
…BIG BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!
BEGIN!
Big Brother:
I'm the king of all! Don't bother trying to shut me off, you bloody clown;
Streamlined the English language, but my raps have seen no dumbing-down.
The Last Ship back to safety's sailed; the Last Exit is closed:
There's no escaping consequences if it's me you would oppose!
I've got the world around my finger, wrapped, and if you'd disapprove,
Like Kingdom of the Sun, I'll soon see you take on a different groove;
You've got some nerve, Sumner, to diss me! You say Love's the Seventh Wave?
Well, call the ripples I'll send through your body, mind and soul the eighth!
I'll throw your music's every memory down to the incinerator,
For I'
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Literature
MERB #34: Chris McLean Vs. Vince McMahon
VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDdLt8aROi4
••• SCRIPT/LYRICS: •••
MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!
VINCE MCMAHON…
…VS…
…CHRIS MCLEAN!!!!!
BEGIN!
Chris McLean:
Today on Total Drama Island-Action-Musical-Whatever,
Watch me make McMahon mincemeat, then off some interns for good measure.
Do what shouldn't be tried at home? You'd best believe that I'm prepared to;
Think you're boss enough to cross me? Well, I triple-dog dare you!
I'm the hottest host this mad, mad, mad, mad world has ever seen;
As tough as Nailz, with words as fiery as your faulty limousine!
I've got full-time invincibility; there's no way I'll be toppled.
How can you expect to Trump McLean when you got beat by Donald?
You'll come in dead-last when you race me, and end up like Team Victory:
A bigger fail than your foray into the football industry!
No chainsaw's in my grasp, and there's no hook
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KingOfMustaches
Australia
I just have a mustache with a crown on it.
That is literally all of it.
I-Block is best Tetromino. #FiteMe
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:iconmolemanninethousand:
MolemanNineThousand Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I just realized in light of your upcoming birthday that I hadn't llama'd you until now… shame on me! :{
Reply
:iconkingofmustaches:
KingOfMustaches Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2016
I don't know what that means ;(
Thanks though! I think...
Reply
:iconmolemanninethousand:
MolemanNineThousand Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, thanks is definitely correct, and you're welcome.
Reply
:iconmolemanninethousand:
MolemanNineThousand Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Been watching Gotham with the family almost nightly; what would you think of Jim Gordon Vs. John Hartigan?
Reply
:iconkingofmustaches:
KingOfMustaches Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2015
Sin City is cool, but I'm personally a big fan of Gotham vs Elementary as an idea if you are gonna use the TV how version.
Reply
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